Cancer Is A Gift

by Cope

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05:39

about

The tracks from Cancer Is A Gift were turned into a tape for the Summer 2010 tour that destroyed the band. Tracks originally intended for a collaborative vinyl release with experimental drone artist St. Gilles.

Really, just a last ditch effort to put out new recordings. Hand made two days before tour.
Edition of 30.

credits

released 01 August 2010

KW-vocals, DS-drums, TS-bass, NL-guitar.

Shells Originally written by our old guitarist and turbo pal ML.

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Track Name: No Sun No Son
stained brain dead face blackened thoughts (thaw and rot)
frozen obscure covered in frost (thaw and rot)
power lack there of segregation (thaw and rot)
a machine with potential call it what you will

surrounded by these similar broken hearts
and these machines that swallow time
grow child and yield to life as succession departs
staying close to death life's mortal decline

anxiety pins and needles name the cliche (thaw and rot)
diagnose the disease watch me bleed but don't pray (thaw and rot)
i've read minds i hear prayers (thaw and rot)
but i'm having trouble reading my own so leave me alone.

the cavity of possession the useless shrine
the cruelty of thought the power of mind
the poison of religion abuse of the divine
death to humanity worthless and sublime

call it what ever you want
my rituals of self preservation
denial through a failed state
or apathetic exhaustion
my distorted values of self worth are as filthy as yours
but i can word them creatively enough
loop holes for words loop holes for wrists
tied to fit tight but set free the hypocrtites
so i'm laying down my crippled hands
against the grain of gnashing teeth
these hands that never saw war
these hands that never raised young
these hands and a mask, disguised
disgusted and defined.
responsible for etching names in stone
digging graves for thousands
setting fire to homes
carving the ivory for jesus' bones
i'm walking the path
i'm never waking up.
Track Name: Shells
it wants to speak
i want to sleep
it wants to excrete
i want to eat
it wants to compete
i'm incomplete
it wants to die
i want to be
i want to be

a broken back from working
fingers bled down to the bone.
now at home, open the door
but noone else is home.
its cluttered on the inside
but not enough to fill the void
the silence is just the perfect thing
to keep from feeling annoyed

inside this rusted skeleton, a heart made of ash
(dead inside dead inside)
cold hands on the metal dead face behind the glass
(dead inside dead inside)
waiting for the moment like a hammer and nail
(dead inside dead inside)
holes in my hands
and i cant i cant i cant i fail, i fail.

not awake or sleeping
just staring through blank screens
absolutely listless
the bottom of extremes
lost inside her own head
lost inside depressed
lost inside a defected mind
but this living life is blessed.

inside this rusted skeleton, a heart made of ash
(dead inside dead inside)
cold hands on the metal dead face behind the glass
(dead inside dead inside)
waiting for the moment like a hammer and nail
(dead inside dead inside)
holes in my hands
and i cant i cant i cant i fail, i fail.

fail
fail
fail
holes in my hands
grasping at sand
dead.
dead.
dead.
Track Name: Possessions
extravagant indulgence of each mind's discerning tastes
its why we wallow in our excess and complain about the waste
depressed our needs stay unconcerned we're so obsessed with wealth
coveting the human face we separate from self

we're dreaming of a new language we're chasing a useless chase
we're bowing down to man a promised step refused to take
these humans often asking questions chasing points into the sky
a constant breathing chasing losing beating so afriad to (die)

a prophecy through grinding teeth burning brightly underneath
desired actions unattained unfufilled dead disdain
forged with the hands broken skin seeping from the ground again
so where's my throne? where's my gain? where's my grave?

a shedding pulse illusion:time we fill the void with death
we're yet to learn to live because we're scared to take a breath
taught to burn as fuel inside a dying, fucked machine
washing away the guilt watching the drain swallow our dreams

its a constant unbalance
i've got this iron mind
but my anticipation
is ruining me
i'm forgetting to breathe...
always forgetting to breathe

my body wants what it cant have
what my iron mind wont give
i refuse to forget the motions
breathing in uncomfortable skin

setting my iron mind
against itself
forgetting to breathe
my anticipation
Track Name: Hubris
terminal decay
yeilding to dead convictions
we are cemented into place
we are where we are
a living contradiction
we are where we are
because we are

living through the shrine of a miscarrage
(we bear the right to self medicate)
obsessively hoarding garbage
(we abuse the right to self medicate)
preening mutated genetics
(we bear the right to self medicate)
addicted to violent pornography
(we abuse the right to self medicate)

i opened my wallet today and god's face wasnt staring back at me.

its the absence of warmth and the absence of truth
its beating the love out of curious youth
its the famous find in the winds of change
where these thoughts and actions reaarange

i'm a waste of time caught up with myself and lost inside my mind
you're the floating distraction that digs paths for me to take
broken trails with cold dead ends a maze made of mistakes
a temper dealt with shaking hands
sitting with you defeated on this broken path

your increments are chipped off and fed to an ever starving pride
leaving hungry, the heart weak beating, dying dead inside
i need to taste your filthy hands and know why you're better than me
i need to know why i share a road with a rejected visionary

why you're better than me.... ( i love you laughton)

i cant
i wont cope